The original Suicide Girls quote by Chuck Palahniuk

McDonald's almost hired me one time, and I only applied for the job to meet younger girls. Black girls, Hispanic, white, and Chinese girls, it says right on the job application how McDonald's hires different races and ethnic backgrounds. It's girls, girls, girls, buffet-style. Also on the application McDonald's says if you have any of the following diseases: Hepatitis a Salmonella Shigella Staphylococcus Giardia or Campylobacter, then you may not work there. This is more of a guarantee than you get meeting girls on the street. You can't be too careful. At least at McDonald's she's gone on the record saying she's clean. Plus, there's a very good chance she's going to be young. Pimple young. Giggling young. Silly young and as stupid as me.
Eighteen-, nineteen-, twenty-year-old girls, I only want to talk to them. Community college girls. High school seniors. Emancipated minors.
It's the same with these SUICIDE GIRLS calling me up. Most of them are so young. Crying with their hair wet down in the rain at a public telephone, they call me to the rescue. Curled in a ball alone in bed for days, they call me. Messiah. They call me. Savior. They sniff and choke and tell me what I ask for in every little detail.
It's so perfect some nights to hear them in the dark. The girl will just trust me. The phone in my one hand, I can imagine my other hand is her.
It's not that I want to get married. I admire guys who can commit to a tattoo.

---Chuck Palahniuk, "Survivor"

Mis micro historias de horror para el hashtag #HorrOctubre2012

02/10/2012,09:44,El inmortal se  miró en el espejo y vió a un anciano envejeciendo hasta el polvo. Olvido.

03/10/2012,10:35,Se cortó los dedos. Así­ la novela dictada por sus pesadillas nunca serí­a escrita. Eso dice.

04/10/2012,12:38,Odia el color amarillo y no podrá nunca arrancarse los ojos. Los demonios de su oscuridad son amarillos. Amarillo.

05/10/2012,09:26,Apretó la mano de su esposo. Ella miró la pantalla del ultrasonido. Gritó. El Fruto de tu vientre.

06/10/2012,12:04,"Navaja. Corte longitudinal, no transversal.  Sangre. Sangre. Sangre.¿Crees que me veo bonita? "

07/10/2012,21:38,"Doctor, las migrañas son cada vez más frecuentes, como si algo quisiera salir de mi cráneo. Alarido. "

08/10/2012,10:32,"Despertó, su gemelo siamés murió la noche anterior. Pero él no morirí­a por muchos años más y la putrefacción. Rigor Mortis. "

09/10/2012,13:16,Su mano ya no le obedecí­a. La mano convenció a todo el brazo y el brazo al resto del cuerpo. Revolución.

10/10/2012,10:33,Isla. Los deformes quieren violarla. Ella corre desnuda. Cae del barranco. Su cuerpo se destroza contra las piedras

11/10/2012,14:13,"Noche tras noche sus sueños duran más. Dí­as, meses, años, décadas. Una noche dormirá hasta la muerte misma del universo."

12/10/2012,10:50,Todas las noches el extraño entra y se sienta al pie de la cama. La ve dormir.  Ella no sabí­a que eso no es normal.

13/10/2012,13:56,"Perdió ambas piernas. Cuando le crecieron de nuevo agradeció a Jesucristo. Luego le creció otra, y otra, y otra... "

14/10/2012,12:13,"Amaba sus ojos y su sonrisa, pero no lograba hacer que esta muñeca de carne cobrara vida, quizá mañana.  "

15/10/2012,15:43,"No se explicaba porque ella enmudeció de pronto, hasta que vió que la carne de su rostro cayó junto al plato del postre "

16/10/2012,14:08,"Consiguió la inmortalidad pero no la eterna juventud, Trescientos años de senilidad "

17/10/2012,09:41, Nadie sabe porqué los insectos y las arañas crecen cada vez más. Pero los humanos no.

18/10/2012,13:39,"El tumor en su pecho hablaba y no entendí­a sus palabras, hasta que empezó a moverse más cerca de su oí­do "

19/10/2012,16:10,"'Las sirenas no tienen alma' Se repetí­a, mientras con bisturí­ formaba piernas de su cola de pez, su propia cola de pez- "

20/10/2012,14:59,"'No puedes matar a una planta disparándole en la cabeza'  se dió cuenta. Demasiado tarde,  "

21/10/2012,14:43,"Nació viejo, Su cuerpo crecí­a, arrugado, débil, Esperaba rejuvenecer después, Eso nunca ocurrió. "

22/10/2012,09:59,"No eran mariposas en el estómago lo que sentí­a, sino larvas de avispa. Y pronto madurarán. "

23/10/2012,13:00,"El que la violó era un ser sobrenatural, un mutante, un loco. No esos ojos azules. Él le sirve el desayuno en la cama. "

24/10/2012,10:10,"Su bebé no llora, no rí­e, no emite sonidos, duerme con los ojos abiertos. Ya aprendió a gatear por las paredes. "

25/10/2012,09:54,"La cuna, el moisés, las chambritas. al 7mo mes sufria dolores.El bebé crecí­a demasiado en su vientre hasta desgarrarlo  "

26/10/2012,14:25,"Comí­a, comí­a, comí­a. Cada vez más hambriento.  El hombre más obeso del mundo murió de inanición. "

27/10/2012,14:44,"Te diré porqué la bisabuela no sale de su cuarto, Desde hoy tú la cuidarás y alimentarás así­ como los hijos de tus hijos "

28/10/2012,14:35,Son tiernos cuando son bebés pero hay que ahogarlos antes que les crezca la tercera cabeza

29/10/2012,11:30,Entenderás exactamente lo que hiciste mal y cómo corregirlo diez segundos antes de morir.

30/10/2012,17:50,"Los extraños llegaron a vivir con nosotros, en cada casa, por millones. Ahora ellos son la especie dominante del planeta "

31/10/2012,11:09,Durante doscientos decenios Dios durmió debajo de Dresden destruí­da. Despertó.

31/10/2012,15:25,"Las paredes me cuentan historias de soledad y desolación, por eso vivo en el bosque junto a las bocas sin cuerpo "

31/10/2012,15:37,Se quiso ahorcar el dí­a que supo que para eso serví­a su cuello

31/10/2012,15:41,From the Depths He came forth to smite upon the blessed.

31/10/2012,17:53,"Él le quitó la juventud, la salud y la belleza. Ella lo bebe esperando alguna vez se las devuelva. Alcohol. "

31/10/2012,19:27,"Se cortó las venas pero no tení­a, debajo de su piel la coraza de un insecto. "

31/10/2012,20:05,"Despertó, a su lado carne y huesos derretidos de mujer. Amnesia "

31/10/2012,20:43,"5 años después del secuestro buscó a su familia. Alguien ocupaba su lugar, una copia exacta de él mismo. "

31/10/2012,21:51,"La canción provoca locura a quien la escucha pero no a mí­, me perforé los oí­dos con un taladro. "

31/10/2012,22:00,Ese momento que tienes la esperanza de volver a usar tu mano cortada

01/11/2012,02:29,"'Baila hasta que tus pies sangren' le dijo el Prí­ncipe, 'Esta noche es para amar y después morir'. "

01/11/2012,02:43,Cada gota de licor alimenta al parásito dentro de su intestino y la matará. Así­ se curó del alcoholismo

01/11/2012,02:49,"Maldita sea mi rostro deforme, con dos ojos debajo de la frente y una sola boca, no soy hermosa como las otras niñas "

01/11/2012,03:07,"Llegaron de debajo del mar, llegaron para llevarnos con ellos, a sus oscuras tumbas bajo las olas."

01/11/2012,03:25,"'Tengo miedo de perderte' dijo ella, Por eso nunca le permitió salir de su cuarto, Donde él nació y 60 años después murió. "

01/11/2012,03:32,"'Practica el piano, si tocas la melodí­a correcta tu abuela volverá a la vida' pero ella nunca regresó, otra cosa regresó "

01/11/2012,03:41,"El abuelo guardaba ese baúl, de la expedición al ártico 1939. De noche puedes escuchar los gemidos de lo que está adentro "

01/11/2012,03:48,"Ella es incapaz de reconocer los rostros humanos, y si ella te explica el porqué tú tampoco podrás. "

01/11/2012,03:52,"En cinco segundos te volverás sordo. en diez segundos mudo, en quince segundos ciego. El resto es silencio. "

01/11/2012,03:53,Dato curioso: el hashtag  #HorrOctubre2012 nunca existió.

Leteroj de la Estonteco (Science fiction short story)

“¿Kiel vin nomas? Neniu volas paroli kun mi.”

I always was a natural for languages, that’s why I took on Esperanto. Imagine my surprise when I found someone typing perfectly natural and fluent Esperanto on Chat Roulette.

Her name was Katya, no one wanted to chat with her because they couldn’t understand her and she didn’t have her webcam on. She had been online for a couple of hours trying to find someone who understood. Not because she was studying Esperanto and wanted to practice.

“Vivas kun mia fratina, estas la jaro du mil kvincent, estas la lasta familio sur la tero.”

My Esperanto was good enough to follow her frenetic typing, she told me she lived with her sister and their father inside a bunker, the last humans alive in the year Twenty Five Hundred. Her father just installed a machine that could connect her to the Internet of the world before the big disaster. Before that it was only books, she had read the classics in Esperanto and generated their own electricity with a treadmill.

Naturally, I had questions; Had she been typing in English I would have dismissed it as a prank, but why would anyone take the time to type in perfect Esperanto just for laughs? Besides, a person from the far future wouldn’t speak English but something else, not pure Esperanto, but one dialect spiced with Spanish words and expressions.

“Nia patro prizorgas nosotras, ĝi eliras al la mondon de eksteren por atingi nin manĝo, akvo kaj medicinoj. "

It made sense that if they lived underground they would need vitamin supplements, the treadmill where they generated their power and used also to purify water would keep them fit and the books they had read would keep their mind busy. Her sister, Met, was only a year younger. Both were fascinated with the “Old World” but saddened because they would never touch it, I also could speak to her.

“Vi lernus La anglan, tiel vi povus povi uzi pli libroj kaj muziko " I said, a little ashamed my Esperanto would appear awkward and inelegant for her.

I offered to teach them English, at the best of my capacities. I asked if they could listen to me in their speakers, but turns out they were using an old PowerPC with no sound or video card. Even though they could not watch video and the pictures they could see were in 16-bit colors they were astonished by how beautiful our world was.
I was curious as how the world had come to an end:

“Nia patro nin rakontas ke al la fino la bastardos finis por mortigi inter ili.”

A man-made disaster sometime in the Twenty Fifth Century, guess we didn’t bother to seek out new life and new civilizations after all.

I asked if we could prevent it. For me it would not happen for centuries, there was still time. But Katya told me I’d have to be alive 400 years only to be dismissed as a madman.

After some weeks of talking to them it was clear that by now any prankster would have dropped the act or asked me for money. If this was indeed real I could track their IP, and possibly discover a gateway into the far future.

I could find it easily, but it turned out to be a proxy server somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, some independent island nation that financed itself with illegal servers. I frantically asked in several forums how I could unmask an IP behind a proxy, they always told me to find the administrator, but if the log file was deleted there’s no way I could find out unless I contacted the authorities. But what would I tell them? “Help, there are two girls trapped in a bunker, ah, by the way, they only speak Esperanto and live five hundred years in the future”

And asking them about their location was useless, according to them they lived in the middle of a wasteland in the mountains, but only know so because their father told them so.

I repeatedly asked to speak to him.

“Paĉjo ne volas paroli kun vi, se ĝi faras lin sentu ke al ni donas falsajn esperojn. "

He didn’t want to give them false hopes, For all purposes I am long dead, they are just speaking to ghosts.


We talked less and less, sometimes only an hour a week compared to the four hours I would devote in the beginning and had to stop only to attend school and do enough homework to pass. My Esperanto improved very rapidly, they would teach me some words and at the best of my capacity I tried to teach them some English, much to the chagrin of their father.

One day Katya appeared;
“Paĉjo jam ne volas ami min, ĉi tiuj tagoj amas pli al mia fratina, por iu ne ĉesas tuŝi ŝin. "

I didn’t know what she meant, for the first time I could understand the words, but not the meaning behind them. I asked what she meant when she said their Father doesn’t want to love her anymore, she became too old.

Then I understood everything.

That man kept them inside a padded room to have sex with them as many times as he wanted, he had kidnapped them when they were very young and created a fantasy world so they never ever wanted to escape.

That was the last time I talked to her and the administrator does not return my calls anymore.

How I would improve the Star Wars Movies

Jedi Trainer intense stare
Originally uploaded by FrogMiller

11.- The Jedi Council is a corrupt and complacent cult more interested in holding political power than defending the galaxy. The Head of the Council is not Yoda, but a fat slobbering Huttese Jedi who hasn't seen a day of action in its life.

10.- No midichlorians, of course. Qui-Gon has little or no evidence to support his claim (that Anakin is The Chosen One) and he is viewed by the Council as a lunatic. Obi-wan is torn between loyalty to his master and loyalty to the Elders.

9.- Boba Fett is not a clone, just an awesome bounty hunter who got himself a Mandalorian Battle Suit in a Flea Market. Jango Fett is pure Mandalorian stock and both are not related, Boba Fett's past remains a mystery.

8.-A complete rewrite of the scene before Darth Vader; Anakin, charred and mutilated, is found by Palpatine, who is surrounded by troopers, "Well, look at yourself, dog, you look like Bantha droppings. You are of no use to me, please die". Palpatine turns his back on him and Charred Anakin points a stub of flesh where his arm was and mentally chokes everyone around. Palpatine laughs; "Now we're talking! come." and the fully armored Darth Vader scene does no longer include the DO NOT WANT.

7.-Love triangle between Obi-wan, Anakin and Padmè. Anakin's jealousy is an integral part of his fall to the Dark Side and Obi-wan is fully responsible, and all because of a fine piece of blue-blooded booty. His twisting of the facts in Episode IV are because of guilt.

6.-Anakin slaughters Amidala in a fit of rage before Obi-wan's eyes, the royal showdown ensues. Luke was already born.

5.-Boba Fett decides not to hang out with Jabba much longer, he continues preying upon rebellion targets and there is a big showdown between him and Han Solo, whom he tracked to Endor.

4.-Anakin Skywalker is a teenager when found by Obi-wan. he is already a great pilot.

3.-Jar Jar Binks is an anarchist primitivist who oposses Boss Nazz' regime based on his politics of racial hatred against the human squatters of Naboo (ruled by Amidala) and he is certainly not goofy. His distrust on institutions and his idealism makes him a puppet for Palpatine's ambitions anyways.

2.-The Battle of Endor takes place in Kashyyyk as originally intended, in episode three we get to return to the Wookie planet.

1.-Luke and Leia are not brother and sister. Luke is certainly Anakin's and Padme's child, but Leia is Bail and his wife's child. Leia's mother plays an important part as a Harriet Tubman-like character who helps a few Jedi escape the Great Jedi Purge.

Speculative Fiction part 3: Nirvana never formed.

(The Speculative Fiction series is an exercise in narrative merely done to practice my writing skills, the speculative fiction genre has reached history, but not music and it would be fun to imagine; what if Led Zeppelin never recorded Starway to Heaven? What if Grunge never had commercial success?)


Lfm:Today we are speaking with Kurt Cobain, bassist of the legendary Sludge band Melvins. Cobain was so kind as to invite us to his home in Aberdeen, Washington with his wife, Melanie and his three kids. Cobain, now in his forties, tells us about the Seattle scene in the late eighties and late nineties;

KC: I was just a kid carrying the equipment for some friends back then, The Melvins, Boy, was I obsessed with that band! Even though I knew [Crover and Osborn] from high school... I knew I was being silly when I asked him to audition. I was so nervous I even forgot how to play!!! When I asked; "Can I start again?"I knew I was doomed. I went home knowing I would never make it in life, but Buzz, oh, man. He called me to repeat the audition and I made it!!! I don't know what I 'd done! For sure you would find me with my brains sprayed over the fucking wall!! *laughs*

Lfm: You had a chance to work with William S. Burroughs...

KC: The man was larger than life, you know? You read all his books in secret when you were a teen, you know his life story and yet he treats you as if he were no different from you. And yet when he spoke you pondered his every word... Such clarity, I wish I live to be as sensible as he was...We did a single track in 1992... and some years later I was able to work with him again, short before he died...

Lfm: Although your work has gathered a large following you somehow have eluded the mainstream... With Houdini you had a short-lived success at the charts...

KC: Yes, The people at David Geffen were really into new sounds, they had worked with Sonic Youth... I remember there was some people from a major record company that was looking for something else, I remember the guy, he was genuinely sick and tired of the crap MTV was pushing at the time... he seemed really smart, but when he saw me in private and told me that the other members of the band were dragging me down I knew there was no deal possible. We and another band, Soundgarden, were in rotation on MTV for a couple of months... But the glam bands were so aggressive... The powers that be would never take risks with new stuff. We would never translate into merchandise or toys as the other bands did.

Lfm: Or Saturday Morning Cartoons...

KC: They were the worst!!! I sure didn't want to see myself solving mysteries in space!
Mainstream has become increasingly stale... prefab bands had a limit and it was crossed time and time again. The new wave of Gothic Glam and Dark Glam,, just makes me sick... We worked with Brian Warner from Coma White... He used to be in a Glam band, The Spooky Kids, he simply could not take it.. all the executive meddling. His Idea was to combine divas' names with serial killers, but after the fiasco of the Charles Manson Tribute Album by Guns N' Roses... I think it was for the best, Warner and Trent Reznor have made some very interesting music...

Lfm: For the Mainstream you are a one-hit-wonder... Do you resent that?

KC: Not at all!!! I am not sure if I could handle some executives demanding new material, Melvins has given me the opportunity to listen to myself. The short period we were pushed to promote our MTV material was, like, torture. There was all this material we wanted to explore and people just wanted the same tired song from TV...

Speculative Fiction part 2; Metallica did not make it to the mainstream

Following the events of last installment; the album Sabbath Bloody Sabbath was never released, thus stripping James Hetfield of one of his greatest influences, as a possible result he never answered Lars Ulrich's advertisement and Metallica would be formed with quite a different line-up
MetalMania was a heavy metal band formed in Los Angeles, California in 1981 by Drummer Lars Ulrich, Lead Guitarist Lloyd Grant, Bassist Ron McGobney and Vocalist/Rhythm guitarist Dave Mustaine.
Mustaine and Ulrich have always been the creative force behind MetalMania,. the two met after Ulrich placed an advertisement in The Recycler. Ulrich was reportedly surprised by Mustaine's expensive quitar equipment.
The band was heavily influenced by bands such as Iron Maiden and Diamond Head. Following Iron Maiden's lead, themes of science fiction and fantasy literature would be present in almost all of its releases; The Puppet Masters (1984) has its title track dedicated to the author of the homonymous novel; Robert A. Heinlein.

Its debut album; Metal Up Your Ass, was well received despite its limited initial print, its hardcore punk-like energy was noted. Its single The Mechanix would prove to be a signature in all of its live performances. This album's limited success allowed them to pursue recording a second album; Ride the Lightning.
MetalMania was recently disbanded due to Mustaine's health; seere nerve damage sustained while taking pain medication has left him unable to hold a guitar.


MetalMania Discography

Metal Up Your Ass (1983)
Ride The Lightning (1984)
The Puppet Masters (1986)
Peace Sells... And Justice For All! (1988)
Rust in Peace (1991)

Speculative Fiction part 1; Black Sabbath broke up in 1973

[i](The Speculative Fiction series is an exercise in narrative merely done to practice my writing skills, the speculative fiction genre has reached history, but not music and it would be fun to imagine; what if Led Zeppelin never recorded Starway to Heaven? What if Grunge never had commercial success? These stories will be presented in faux wiki-like enries)[/i]

[artist]Black Sabbath[/artist] was an influential [tag]heavy metal[/tag]/[tag]doom metal[/tag]/[tag]stoner metal [/tag]/[tag]sludge metal[/tag] band formed in 1968 as a heavy blues band originally called Earth. Its members were Ozzy Osbourne (vocals), Tony Iommi (guitar), Terence "Geezer" Butler (bass), and Bill Ward (drums).
After a string of successes such as [track artist=Black Sabbath]Paranoid[/track], [u]Walpurgis[/u], [track artist=Black Sabbath]Sweet Leaf[/track], [track artist=Black Sabbath]Behind the wall of Sleep[/track], the band was ripe with internal conflict due to substance abuse problems. While seen simply as a source of inspiration by drummer Bill Ward, the other members felt otherwise. Ward was fired from the band just after work on the band's fourth album; [track artist=Black Sabbath]Snowblind[/track]. Ward would then go on to join [artist]Rinky Dink & The Crystal[/artist]. Black Sabbath recruited Ian Paice, formerly of [artist]Deep Purple[/artist], as a replacement drummer for the [i]Snowblind[/i] world tour.

The band returned to Los Angeles to begin work on a fifth album which Tom Allom was slated to produce.They rented a house in Bel Air to begin working on new songs, but fatigue and substance abuse haunted the band once again, as well as a great disagreement on which direction the band should take. Tommi Iommi wanted to continue with the gloomy heavy metal sound he helped create while Ian Paice, with other sensibilities and Tom Meehan, the band producer, wanted them to go in a whole different direction.

"Ideas weren't coming out the way they were on Snowblind and we really got discontent" Iommi said. "Everybody was sitting there waiting for me to come up with something. I just couldn't think of anything. And if I didn't come up with anything, nobody would do anything."

In that moment Tommy Iommi left the band to return to England. While visiting a dungeon in a castle in Wales Iommi got the inspiration for the riff that would become his first hit with the band he would later found; [album artist=Black Sabbath]Seventh Star[/album], whose first album [track artist=Black Sabbath]Killing Yourself to live[/track] was a critical success.

Despite its relative short life Black Sabbath proved to be a big influence in other bands. The American band The Hands of Doom, who helped mature the sludge-doom sound in the early eighties, took their name from a Black Sabbath Song.

Discography:
-Black Sabbath (1970)
-Walpurgis (1970)
-Master of Reality (1971)
-Snowblind (1972)