Speculative Fiction part 3: Nirvana never formed.

(The Speculative Fiction series is an exercise in narrative merely done to practice my writing skills, the speculative fiction genre has reached history, but not music and it would be fun to imagine; what if Led Zeppelin never recorded Starway to Heaven? What if Grunge never had commercial success?)


Lfm:Today we are speaking with Kurt Cobain, bassist of the legendary Sludge band Melvins. Cobain was so kind as to invite us to his home in Aberdeen, Washington with his wife, Melanie and his three kids. Cobain, now in his forties, tells us about the Seattle scene in the late eighties and late nineties;

KC: I was just a kid carrying the equipment for some friends back then, The Melvins, Boy, was I obsessed with that band! Even though I knew [Crover and Osborn] from high school... I knew I was being silly when I asked him to audition. I was so nervous I even forgot how to play!!! When I asked; "Can I start again?"I knew I was doomed. I went home knowing I would never make it in life, but Buzz, oh, man. He called me to repeat the audition and I made it!!! I don't know what I 'd done! For sure you would find me with my brains sprayed over the fucking wall!! *laughs*

Lfm: You had a chance to work with William S. Burroughs...

KC: The man was larger than life, you know? You read all his books in secret when you were a teen, you know his life story and yet he treats you as if he were no different from you. And yet when he spoke you pondered his every word... Such clarity, I wish I live to be as sensible as he was...We did a single track in 1992... and some years later I was able to work with him again, short before he died...

Lfm: Although your work has gathered a large following you somehow have eluded the mainstream... With Houdini you had a short-lived success at the charts...

KC: Yes, The people at David Geffen were really into new sounds, they had worked with Sonic Youth... I remember there was some people from a major record company that was looking for something else, I remember the guy, he was genuinely sick and tired of the crap MTV was pushing at the time... he seemed really smart, but when he saw me in private and told me that the other members of the band were dragging me down I knew there was no deal possible. We and another band, Soundgarden, were in rotation on MTV for a couple of months... But the glam bands were so aggressive... The powers that be would never take risks with new stuff. We would never translate into merchandise or toys as the other bands did.

Lfm: Or Saturday Morning Cartoons...

KC: They were the worst!!! I sure didn't want to see myself solving mysteries in space!
Mainstream has become increasingly stale... prefab bands had a limit and it was crossed time and time again. The new wave of Gothic Glam and Dark Glam,, just makes me sick... We worked with Brian Warner from Coma White... He used to be in a Glam band, The Spooky Kids, he simply could not take it.. all the executive meddling. His Idea was to combine divas' names with serial killers, but after the fiasco of the Charles Manson Tribute Album by Guns N' Roses... I think it was for the best, Warner and Trent Reznor have made some very interesting music...

Lfm: For the Mainstream you are a one-hit-wonder... Do you resent that?

KC: Not at all!!! I am not sure if I could handle some executives demanding new material, Melvins has given me the opportunity to listen to myself. The short period we were pushed to promote our MTV material was, like, torture. There was all this material we wanted to explore and people just wanted the same tired song from TV...